Okay, so it especially pains me when I need to shame an establishment that I actually like and have been to before. To be fair, I think this falls in the category of “ignorant douche” as opposed to “willfully exploitative”, but that could be my bias talking. Either way, “you may get a beer on us” makes me want to redefine for the poster what “getting a beer on” actually means.
Let me get this straight, you think your self-proclaimed status as an artist entitles you to free labor from younger artists? This whole “being an artist” thing is not like pledging a fraternity you tone-deaf fuckface.
I, too, am an artist. Does that mean I would have the stones to put an ad out looking for a free assistant just because they also seek to earn a living doing what I do? Abso-fucking-lutely not. However, I am not a sociopath (I think?) so that may explain the discrepancy in our approaches to life.
This offer of good eats and pirate glory does sound tempting. Unfortunately, my desire for a life free from scurvy/demented Caligula-meets-Bluebeard type goings-on in “the Americas great loop waterway” trumps my desire for potential reality television show fame. Best of luck and bon voyage you rascals you!
"Could lead to paid work in the future" is like the "Free Bird" of unpaid job postings. They feel obligated to throw it in there, even though they know nobody wants to hear it. Here are some suggestions for alternative carrots to dangle that have equally as much chance of happening in reality:
"Could lead to an all expense paid trip to the moon"
"Could lead to invincibility from all terminal diseases"
"Could lead to a passionate romance with the celebrity of your choosing"
"Could lead to the Treasure of the Knights Templar"
"Could lead to the ability to fly"
A two day unpaid videographer job for a “million dollar wedding” that will be an “over-the-top, luxurious experience”? Yep, that sounds fair. However, these people must realize that paparazzo only travel to film celebrity weddings for free, right?
There is a scene in the 1988 cinematic masterpiece Twins, wherein the titular twin characters (played by Danny DeVito and Arnold Schwarzenegger respectively) have a discussion on the economic realities of the modern world:
Vincent Benedict: Money talks and bullshit walks!
Julius Benedict: How can bullshit walk?
It would appear that the makers of this short film are not familiar with the first part of this colloquial phrase. Either that, or they have zero sense of irony and really do believe bullshit is capable of sustaining itself on its own merits.
This is the internet equivalent of cruising through a Home Depot parking lot with the hopes of finding the right amount of desperate laborers willing to finish your deck installation for a cool pitcher of lemonade and the satisfaction of having completed a hard day’s work.
600-800 flower crowns? Right away, Miss! Oh, what’s that? These handcrafted head adornments are only for a “select number of attendees”? Very well. Perhaps just a couple hundred then? Every nick of a thorn in me humble hands will be worth the avalanche of brand recognition that will come rolling in from your “influential” chums!
Seasons are a-changing after all, and I’ll need to get my ducks in a row to rake in all the lucrative flower crown business that booms in the winter months. Thank you, oh benevolent pool party host, for bestowing upon me this bountiful harvest of tastemakers.
You need food, clothing, and shelter. You want mock ups for your speculative advertising spots. Semantics can be tricky like that, but as a freelance copywriter (?) it is in your best interest to pad your vocabulary with words that convey actual meaning.
Bullshit is an art form, too.
Putin, can’t you just annex the drawings away from the artist?